Weight: 260.4 lb/118.12 kg
Exercise: 2.09 mile/3.36 km walk (5:24am–6:18am, ☀️70ºF/21ºC)
Mood: Good
Food: TBD calories
- Italian wedding cake iced coffee
Author: Brian
I slept a little too much yesterday, but I woke up feeling great today. Things have really cooled off and we are having an unusual bit of weather for July. I’m certainly not complaining. I’m no fan of the intense heat.
I started posting my walks on my Instagram page. I had been wanting to share the photo I took on my morning walk, but as usual I was standing in my own way. I’m not sure why I do that, but I think I’m a little bit afraid of sharing myself too much… I’m probably at least a little bit worried that I’ll be judged for what I’ve posted. But I need to remember that nobody cares. I actually started blogging in 2001, and taking my journaling from exclusively physical to digital was never about an audience, even when I’ve had one. I don’t post things for others, but just for myself. It’s harder to remember that on social media; it sometimes feels like a big room where everyone is watching what you do… but in reality, it’s not. If what I post is interesting to others, great. If it’s not, they just won’t care about that. I can’t keep worrying about every tiny thing I do. I’ve been making so many changes, and yet I still find myself in here.
Independence Day has me thinking again about the erosion of American values we’re all witnessing. I’m still not stressed about it. I don’t really feel like we need to be stressed about things; we need to be motivated. We aren’t powerless, even though some would like us to believe that we are.
[Walk #112]
Weight: 264.6 lb/120.02 kg
Exercise: 3.17 mile/5.10 km walk (5:24am–6:32am, ☀️78ºF/25.5ºC)
Mood: Great
Food: TBD calories
- blueberry cobbler iced coffee
Things seem dire right now, and I understand how hopeless everyone is feeling. I get that way often when events are pile up around me to prevent me from realizing how good things actually are.
I’m troubled by any narrative that the United States is devolving into some sort of developing nation. It’s all about perspective at the end the day. People feel like they are struggling because there are challenges now that did not previously exist. That’s not what struggling looks like. That is what a slight decrease in privilege looks like. Maybe that’s patronizing. I’m sure there are people who are having a rough time in 2024… materially. There are people in every time that struggle, but that isn’t the majority.
Anti-democratic sentiment has been on the rise for a while. That is motivated by fear. But I don’t think the response to that fear is to talk about how horrible things are. That feeds the anxieties and it also obscures the good things we have. While I think journalism is extremely important, I also think that media companies have an incentive to panic their audiences. It’s good for their bottom line. The good things in life don’t get airtime. They are boring. And the fact that we all live in a 24 hour news cycle is not healthy. It’s a problem for everyone, and even when we try to shut it off, we still somehow get the information through our social media or friends and family. It’s all too much all the time.
We have a lot to do, and nothing in recent weeks really changes what we know must happen to preserve our democracy. A ruling by a court rarely changes a person’s mind on who to vote for, or rather what values to vote for. And I think it’s more important than ever to realize that if you are living in the United States, you represent 4% of the global population. Look at how people are living elsewhere, check global poverty rates and jobs numbers. Then get back to me on how bad things are here.
This might be extremely cliché, but what if instead of doom scrolling people went outside. Put your phone in your pocket & go for a walk or just go hang out at the park with friends. Talk about the weather & think about the good things in your life. Listen to the birds. Be present in your own life. Neither doom scrolling nor walking outside will change how a person votes in November, but the latter will make you feel a lot better than the former.
[Walk #111]
Weight: 264.4 lb/119.93 kg
Exercise: 2.40 mile/3.86 km walk (9:21am–10:13am, ☁️80ºF/26.5ºC)
Mood: Great
Food: TBD calories
- coconut iced coffee
This evening’s walk was nice. It was 103°F this afternoon, but it feels tolerable now. Hot, but tolerable. The murder of crows that’s been hanging out around here was chatty. There was a hawk nearby; I don’t think they’re bothered much by me.
[Walk #110]
One of my favorite concepts is having the confidence to walk into a room like you own everything. Of course, I never quite do have that level of confidence, but I think I’ve figured out a way to fake it, and faking it is nearly as good it most cases. Recently, whenever I’ve been around other people I like to walk in like I’m the district manager; I’m not doing a walk through this week, but I am just seeing how everyone is doing. What is surprising is how well even that level of confidence works.
I need to keep working on breathing. I am MILES from where I started, but I do wish I could breath even more deeply. I want to just fill those lungs up fully and enjoy the full capacity of respiration that I have lacked for so long. Maybe it’ll take time. Maybe it will never happen, but I’m trying. I don’t know what would help other than what I’m already doing. I’m willing to try anything.
[Walk #109]
Weight: 270.0 lb/122.47 kg
Exercise: 2.34 mile/3.77 km walk (5:07am–5:55am, 🌬️79ºF/26ºC); .51 mile/.82 km walk (7:55pm–8:08pm, 🌬️96ºF/26ºC) (2.85 miles total)
Mood: Excellent
Food: TBD calories
- butterscotch iced coffee
- French bread, mustard
- russet potatoes, broccoli, jalapeños
Got in a second walk after I saw the July challenge on Apple Fitness: 2.77 mile walks at least 14 times. That must be based on my walking average because it is a perfect increase in what I’ve been doing. But I don’t like taking longer than an hour, so I’ll have to get these extras in in the evening. It’s so warm. But I’ve always been averse to even the mildest warmth, but I actually thought it wasn’t so bad. I suppose that makes sense. I’m likely having some changes to my body relative to my own heat tolerance. I’ve always wanted to be someone who could stand to be outside in July, so maybe I’ll get there someday.
One of the new shirts I got for walking arrived and fits perfectly. It’s a 2XL, and if I’m being honest, that still feels too large. It’s been a long time though, and I can start retiring my 4XL & 3XL shirts I think. My favorite part was that it fit, but was not clingy or snug at all… that’s progress. My weight loss might be slower than I’d like at the moment, but I am shrinking an that’s the part I’m excited about.
[Walk #108]
July arrived so quickly! We had a massive cool-down yesterday, so my morning walk was very pleasant. I worked up a nice sweat and just generally felt good about it.
Today I start a bit of a schedule shake up that I’ve been working on for a while. The point of this schedule is not to get bogged down by the various things I need to do, but to constantly give myself prompts to aid me in keeping up with being present. I’ve become good at maintaining some of the routines in my life, but I did so by having something specific to do at those times. A lot of aspects of life require structure for me, especially if I am going to make those things feel spontaneous. I’m not very good at spontaneity, and that’s okay. Not everybody has to be.
I’ve arrived in July without any new health goals. That isn’t to say there is nothing at all to work on, but I have no specific thing in mind. I’m just continuing to work on my fitness. That seems to be going well. I’ll be tightening my diet up a bit, but that comes and goes as well, so it’s not new. It’s a good month for that as well. Having a very strictly planned diet works well with the chaos I’m anticipating for the month. Apple’s Fitness app is challenging me a little. I need to be doing 2.77 miles of walking every day. I don’t know if that is based on how much I walk, but it’s actually the perfect goal. It’s just a little bit more than I normally do, and fits in well with adding a brief afternoon walk.
[Walk #107]