Weight: 280.8 lbs
Exercise: .77 mile walk (2:10pm–2:31 pm, ☀️78ºF/25.5ºC)
Mood: Slightly better, still a little under the weather
I guess I had something; I had a moment when a fever broke and I started feeling better after that. Whatever was going on, hopefully it’s over now.
Food: 620 calories
Music:
Weight: 280.8 lbs
Exercise: .77 mile walk (2:10pm–2:31 pm, ☀️78ºF/25.5ºC)
Mood: Not Great
Spent the day not feeling very well… I don’t know if it is weather, allergies, or something else. Just felt generally off and cranky most of the day.
Food: 1905 calories
Music:
Weight: 280.6 lbs
Exercise: 1.25 mile walk (9:29am–9:59am, ⛅️62ºF/17ºC)
Mood: Great
It’s a beautiful day. Cloudy, cool… great for my morning walk, even if that was a little late. I was so tired this morning; I decided to just sleep a little longer. I thought I had gotten enough, but my watch says 6hr48min, and I have no reason to say it is wrong… that does not include the extra hour and a half though, so maybe I have a reason to at least be suspicious.
I’ve gotten lazy with my calorie counting. That was always meant to be temporary, but lately I keep forgetting to record everything as I eat it and then you’ve got me trying to keep my eyes open as I’m going to bed trying to recall how many kidney beans I had with lunch. In general, I’ve been trying to work on getting to everything. I wish I could let go of a lot of things to make room in my brain for just my daily habits checklist. All of the stuff in life can start to weigh us down and I feel burdened by it all sometimes. I mentioned recently that I actually love how chaotic I can be, and I still think that. I love that when I want to do something, I spend hours watching videos and collecting materials and familiarizing myself with the ins and outs of it all, even if I don’t ultimately retain that hobby. I still love that about me, but I need to work on coupling that with the self awareness required to purge and let things go that I am no longer interested in. I usually see that as a failure of some kind, and that’s not something I’m interested in any longer. It isn’t a failure to move forward. Learning new things is the hobby, and I think that is great. But if I’ve already learned everything I want to know about a topic, it is more than okay to let someone else have the materials I collected.
My walks are going very well, but I do wish I could get my heart rate up more. I’m trying to remember to have patience with myself; a year ago I struggled to get through a shower without needed a rest, so it will just take some time to get to where I need to go. I had been doing at least 20 minutes a day in exercise (walking unless it’s just too muddy), but I think after the past few days I’m going to change that to at least 1 mile of walking. That currently takes me roughly 25 minutes, but if I can get that down to 20 minutes that might help me keep that heart rate up. It’s worth trying at least, and then I’ll revisit my goals after that. I’m still looking forward to Brad getting cleared to do exercise, although by that time it’ll be too hot to continue on outside and we’ll have to start meeting at the gym. And that is just fine too… maybe preferable.
Food: NA calories
Music:
Weight: 282.3 lbs
Exercise: 1.06 mile walk (6:38am–7:05am, 🌬️66ºF/19ºC)
Mood: Excellent
Such a windy morning! I’m already starting to feel my motivation waning and the month just started; I’m just trying to get in my own way most likely. I can, and should ignore those messages I have started sending myself. I don’t know why people are like this… I mean, I guess I do sort of get why. Even when I’m at my most motivated, I never fully quiet the voice that tells me to just sleep in, to just eat a little more, to just take it easy and don’t worry about getting things done. I suppose it is nice to have that voice when I’m overdoing things, but most of the time it is just a hinderance.
Food: 1735 calories
Music:
Weight: 280.8 lbs
Exercise: 25 minute aerobic exercise (Sweatin’ to the Oldies) (8:38am–9:03am, ☁️66ºF/19ºC)
Mood: Good, but tired
I’m feeling motivated today, but I’m trying to remember to pace myself. I tend to get so excited about starting a new month and reaching some of my own goals, only to find that I fail in only a few days. I do know that, and maybe knowing that will help me do things differently.
It was raining this mornings, and after last night’s storms the ground is very muddy outside. I will try to get in a walk this afternoon if the road and driveway have dried out enough, but in the meantime I did 25 minutes of the first Sweatin to the Oldies. I had done those a few times in the fall when I had just started to lose weight and while I really didn’t do a much longer exercise than I was able to do at that point, I was much more able to move and did not become winded or start seeing stars. It felt very doable. Aerobics is strange; I’d like to look into which is better, that or walking. I had more trouble getting my heart rate up with the aerobic exercises, but it caused me to sweat a lot more than a walk does. I don’t really know what that means. I know I could push myself to do 45 minutes or an hour in a walk, but I was pretty much at my limit after 25 minutes today. That said, I also feel less satisfied with it. My concern is which one will help me most to achieve my goals. Ultimately, that is all that matters to me at this point. I already know that maintaining health requires daily walks. I’m very happy do that, but until then I am happy to do whatever get results.
Food: 2020 calories
Music:
Weight: 283.0 lbs
Exercise: 1.24 mile walk (6:14am–6:49am, 🌗59ºF/15ºC)
Mood: Good, but tired
It’s hardly the newest thought, but I felt absolutely in awe of the fact that we get to live on a planet that has become aware of itself. I wonder how many others there, and how many there are that teem with life, but which remain ignorant of their place in the universe.
It was a nice morning for a walk, but a little moist and my shoes are full of holes. I’ve been putting off wearing new ones because it’s Spring and many mornings are wet and muddy. I’m looking forward to living somewhere with an easier path, even if that means giving up my solitude for a while. Sometimes a bit of a sacrifice of comfort is exactly what is needed to push growth. I want to feel less burdened by life in general, even if just in an interim. I’m ready to back the moving truck up and just throw everything in. I can deal with the aftermath on the other side. I once had lofty dreams of a perfect move with beautifully packed boxes. I’m a lot less interested in all of that now. I cannot truly move on with my life until I have sold this place and moved, so I’m very ready for that to happen. It is holding me back.
Food: 1440 calories
Music:
Weight: 282.2 lbs
Exercise: .77 mile walk (2:10pm–2:31 pm, ☀️78ºF/25.5ºC)
Mood: Good, but tired
I’ve been so tired today. I slept most of the day and never did get to where I felt rested. Pollen is trending back up, so it might just be that. I hope so. Allergies I can deal with.
Food: 1800 calories
Music:
Weight: 282.2 lbs
Exercise: .97 mile walk (6:25am–6:50am, ☁️62ºF/17ºC); .03 mile walk (4:19pm–4:24pm, ⛅️75ºF/24ºC) (1.00 mile total)
Mood: Good, but tired
I’ve felt chaotic lately. That happens sometimes and it’s something I’ve learned to hate about myself, but maybe I’m approaching that all wrong. There is an expectation to stay focused and to ease into things, but I’ve never been like that. I go all in, to the point of excess sometimes, and I almost don’t know how to stop myself from doing so. If I take up a new hobby, I buy everything I might ever want to use. When I’m interested in trying some new ways of cooking a certain vegetable, I have to try all the ways I can think of, and all in one day. I never let things settle. And I know that it’s wrong because nobody else does that, but when I was walking this morning, I was thinking about how I kinda love that about me. It can be problematic; it often results in money being wasted on items I’ll never use because they never come up or because I lost interest in the hobby quickly. And I really do want to stop having so much stuff and this is not helpful. But I love the way I go all in on new things. Dad was like that. I just need to figure out how to embrace that part of myself, while keeping in check the amassing of stuff. I don’t know.
It was a beautiful morning for walking. We had storms last night, but still the road wasn’t too muddy and I was able to walk up and down and got a good sweat going. Because of the storms, I slept very little and so I’m pretty beat already. I’m sure I’ll get some sleep at some point today.
Food: 960 calories
Music:
Weight: 282.6 lbs
Exercise: 1.68 mile walk (6:22am–7:07am, 🌬️69ºF/20.5ºC)
Mood: Good
I had a great walk this morning, but once again I had some trouble sleeping last night, so I’m likely to just be lethargic this afternoon. I did reach a new record walk length–45 minutes. It still amazes me how that is even possible. My primary concern is the length of time spent walking. Ultimately, doubling that would be ideal for a normal day. I’m happy with the 1.68 miles, but it wasn’t about that today and I found myself slowing my pace quite a few times, lost in thought.
I don’t know if it is related, or how it is, but I’ve been struck with annoyance at how bogged down I feel by everything. That includes all of my stuff, and the stuff I’ve inherited, but it is much more than that. I don’t want aspirational pots and pans. I don’t want closets full of projects I would love to get to, but that ultimately aren’t even important to me. It felt very much related to my health journey this morning when I was walking the property with no need to look at a screen. There were no banner ads, no video interruptions. It all felt as life should be. This is maybe a topic for a different time or place, but it was on my mind this morning.
Also on my mind this morning: irises! Following the rain we’ve been getting, the ‘Dawn Eternal’ & ‘Raven Girl’ irises have book bloomed. I love them. That’s definitely something I want in my future home.
Food: 2710 calories
Music:
Weight: 283.4 lbs
Exercise: 1.23 mile walk (6:56am–7:29am, 🌬️66ºF/19ºC)
Mood: Excellent
I went for my walk this morning as soon as the rain passed, but it hadn’t rained too much and it was such a great time to be outside enjoying the world–it was so cool out, and I was very aware of how much easier I find getting in a walk first thing in the morning. While the concept of an evening walk seems nice in my mind, in reality it feels so much harder. A morning walk hardly even feels like I’ve given effort once I’ve started my day, so really I should be doing both. Just get those steps toward my goal in early and everything else is just a bonus.
Food: 1245 calories
Music:
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