Author: Brian

The Wandering Hermit: Breathe It Out

This morning’s walk felt like walking through someone’s hot breath.  The value of joining a gym feels increasingly apparent.  I sometimes find myself defensive of Oklahoma because of the long Spring & Fall, but I do forget about late June & all of July.  It always comes as a surprise.

I was listening again to The Book of Pride this morning, a collection of stories written from interviews with LGBTQ folks who made their contributions in the past 50 years during the LGBTQ Rights Era.  It’s fascinating to hear their stories, but it had me once again thinking about something I periodically want to sit down and hash out—who are my own life’s “thought leaders” or influences?  What books or poems would be a part of the canon of a book on how to be more like Brian?  I think about doing that often, and wish I would have done it annually.  I would love to know who I thought I was by way of lists in 2002.  What did that guy know about anything?  And isn’t it interesting that my list today would have so many influential health people on it, but only a year ago I wouldn’t have known who they were.  We are all always changing and evolving.  

Meal planning has been going frustratingly poorly.  Justin asked me to help, but it seems like what he wants from me is to tell him that eating junk food will help him lose weight, and there are no restrictions on amounts.  I do honestly believe that it doesn’t matter what a person eats as long as they are mindful of a few key things. 

  1. Calories—It’s been a meme for decades.  I always think about Rhoda Morgenstern on The Mary Tyler Moore Show.  On the show, she was frequently dieting and that dieting consisted of eating fewer calories an moving more.  That advice was true then and it is true now.  That doesn’t mean it’s easy, but it is simple.  Being in a calorie deficit is how all diets work.  Doing it in a way you enjoy is how to make those “diets” into healthy lifestyles.
  1. Fiber—I’ll have to look up some of the research I’ve seen on fiber to bolster my claims here (this is just my thoughts, so I’m not trying to make claims), but fiber has been correlated with positive health outcomes over and over.  And while doctors already champion fiber as important for health, I will not be surprised at all in the future when we find further evidence of fiber’s health benefits.
  1. Water—You need more water.  The fiber needs it to work its way through your body and your body needs water in order to breath most effectively.  We lose a lot of water during breathing, so drinking more water is important for that alone.  Breathing is how 80% of fat is lost, so it’s extremely important.
  1. Enjoy—There is a huge spectrum between mindless binging on junk foods and dragging yourself through the house to eat your bland and flavorless greens.   You never have to give something up unless that thing and you have a toxic relationship.  I love peanut butter, and I don’t understand why every size container feels like a one day supply.  Peanut butter causes my brain to stop sending the signals that I need to stop already.  I’m usually tossing the jar in the trash when I realize I’ve just eaten several day’s worth of calories.  So, I did have to give that up.  For the same reason, I don’t buy my favorite snack: Takis.  Since I started my weight loss, I’ve had them three times.  They are now a celebratory food for me.  And I’m fine with that because my relationship with them was unhealthy.  But I haven’t given up other junk foods.  I still like to get meat alternatives, tortillas, Taco Bell, Burger King…. the difference is that I have control with the things I do eat, and I write everything down.

That ended up getting longer than I expected.  I guess I had some opinions!  I’ve lost 155 pounds, so I guess I’m starting to become one of those people who knows everything.  I should write up a guide to how I did it; I don’t know if anyone would find that helpful or not. 

[Walk #96]

The Wandering Hermit: Assessing Myself on a Thursday Morning

I feel inspired this morning.  I didn’t get enough sleep, but I still woke up feeling great and ready to do all the things!  I’ve been focused heavily on poetry this month and it has me feeling very hyped for new projects, and I even got some writing in the other day.  I can always write.  But I have been busy with other things and so my writing has been pushed to the back until I’ve settled somewhere.  That is a trap I’ve fallen for before.  There is no settling.  Life is always chaotic in one way or another, but it is a choice to deny myself expression.  So, I resumed the writing I should never have paused.

My pace for the entire 3.39 mile walk this morning was under 20 minutes per mile!  That was incredible.  Once again, I did at times feel like I was power walking like a suburban mom on a Wednesday morning, but most of the walk felt fine.  And breathing never became an issue, but a brief exception when a car drove by and I was dealing with some dust for a few minutes.  Otherwise, my lungs seem the best they ever have.  My VO2 Max number has sort of plateaued, but I just need to keep doing what I am doing; hopefully it moves along soon.

I’m starting to get used to the slower rate of my recent weight loss.  I had been discouraged that it was slowing down, but when I started I knew that would happen.  It’s actually a good sign to not be dropping 3 to 5 pounds per week.  Weight loss at that rate was a sign that I was far too overweight.  I seem to be at 1 to 2 pounds per week, with an occasional outlier of 4 or 5.  If there’s something I could switch up to increase that, I’m just not all that interested in exploring it.  I like how I’m eating, I like my exercise routine, I’m drinking a lot of water, and most nights I’m sleeping well.  I don’t really mind this pace because everything is feeling so great.

[Walk #95]

Daily Log: 20 June 2024

Weight: 265.6 lb/120.47 kg

Exercise: 3.39 mile/5.46 km walk (5:07am–6:14am, ☁️71ºF/21.5ºC)

Mood: Excellent

Food: 2260

Calories

  • Italian wedding cake iced coffee
  • russet potatoes, steamed green beans, Gardein Beefless Ground, guacamole, pickled okra, jalapeños
  • rice cakes, spicy hummus
  • Wasa Crispbread Crackers, guacamole, jalapeños, Gardein Beefless Ground
  • Happy Belly SF Pink Lemonade

The Wandering Hermit: 2×7 or 5x?—It All Depends

I woke up at 4:50am, but I didn’t get up for my walk right away since it looked like it would be rainy and I thought I’d let it pass first.  I should have just gotten up and done the thing.  I prefer walking as early as possible and it never did much more than drip here and there, which was still happening when I gave up and decided to get started.

Brent (my older brother) finally got an Apple Watch, and of course on the first day he used it he got in a 5 mile walk.  I’m not sure if he is being competitive.  He knows I do 2 miles every morning, but if he is then he forgot that I am not competitive at all.  My m.o. has always been to compete enough for you to feel like your win was justified, but I’m not interested in beating you at whatever it is.  If my walks make Brent walk a little more than me to show me up, then I stay that is great.  In that scenario, I am doing what I can to help.

I still haven’t figured out an afternoon workout, but I could just be doing more walking in the afternoon.  It’s too warm for that at the moment unless I go ahead and join a gym.  I don’t want to lose myself though; I fear a little that a gym environment would so take me out of the world as to make me start not knowing who I even am.  Of course, nobody said I can’t still do my morning walks outside.  And nobody said a gym is even required.  When I belonged to one before, it was motivating because I didn’t want to waste the money each month, so I’d go just enough to make it feel like I wasn’t doing that—3 or 4 times a week.  I think I feel the same now.  It could also be a goal for getting down to 250 pounds—that’s only 17 pounds away.  That would also give me some time to decide if I can really afford it.

[Walk #94]

Daily Log: 19 June 2024

Weight: 267.0 lb/121.11 kg

Exercise: 2.57 mile/4.14 km walk (5:31am–6:25am, 🌧️73ºF/23ºC)

Mood: Great

Food: 1568 calories

  • peanut butter cup iced coffee
  • Rockstar Pure Zero, Silver Ice
  • KIND Bar, Dark Chocolate, Nuts & Sea Salt
  • Taco Bell bean & rice burritos

The Wandering Hermit: The Scissortails Exist for Themselves

The wind blew like an hyper child this morning.  There were gusts that caught me by surprise almost enough to cause me to lose my footing.  I love the wind, but something about the warm air moving that quickly unnerves me a little bit.  I think it’s possibly just the knowledge of the extreme heat to come, or maybe there is something inherently mischievous about warm winds, a sentience I can perceive.  I prefer a bit of cool air rushing at me.

During my walk I could hear the scissortails chirping in the field on the south side of the road, and my instinct was to say to myself Oh! the scissortails are serenading me on my walk. But then I remembered Alfred Russel Wallace in Papua New Guinea.  He had seen the many species commonly known as birds of paradise and remarked:

“I thought of the long ages of the past, during which the successive generations of this little creature had run their course year by year of being born, and living and dying amid these dark and gloomy woods, with no intelligent eye to gaze upon their loveliness—to all appearance such a wanton waste of beauty.  Such ideas excite a feeling of melancholy.  It seems sad that on the one hand such exquisite creatures should live out their lives and exhibit their charms only in these wild inhospitable regions, doomed for ages yet to come to hopeless barbarism; while on the other hand, should civilized man ever reach these distant lands, and bring moral, intellectual, and physical light into the recesses of these virgin forests, we may be sure that he will so disturb the nicely-balanced relations of organic and inorganic nature as to cause the disappearance, and finally the extinction, of these very beings whose wonderful structure and beauty he alone is fitted to appreciate and enjoy.  This consideration must surely tell us that all living things were not made for man.  Many of them have no relation to him.  The cycle of their existence has gone on independently of his, and is disturbed or broken by every advance in man’s intellectual development; and their happiness and enjoyment, their loves and hates, their struggles for existence, their vigorous life and early death, would seem to be immediately related to their own well-being and perpetuation of the numberless other organisms with which each is more or less intimately connected.” (from The Malay Archipelago, 1869)

I thought of that and how these Texas birds of paradise have no use of me, no urge to sing for me.  In fact, on many mornings they might wish I would not disturb their courtships, and they would be correct.  They are a decent enough example of a bird that is not necessarily harmed to a great degree by the presence of humans, but neither are they particularly helped.  I’ve adopted the image of a scissortail as part of my own business because it is a part of the place where I live, a native part of the ecosystem—evolved to thrive here, and I have a lot of respect for that.  So, it’s lovely to hear them chirp to one another at dawn, but I should know my place and stay in it.

My pace continues to improve.  During the second mile of this morning’s walk, I was just under 20 minutes per mile, which is my quickest yet.  I was stomping down the street for sure, but I never felt like I was overdoing it or racing.  I just felt confident in my stride and walked as quickly as I was comfortable.  I went to Brush Creek Rd & back, an the only issue with that route is how flat it is, the flattest of my paths.  It’s hard to get my heart rate up consistently on the one, but I didn’t have that issue this morning.  I thought I had; the strong winds kept my shirt dry, so I was surprised when I finished to see that my heart rate was about the same as yesterday’s when I was just drenched in sweat.  That quick pace probably helped.  

Protein shakes.  What do I do with a protein shake.  So, Justin doesn’t love vegetables as much as I do, so an easy way to address that has been to add protein shakes to his daily meal plans.  He seems to enjoy them.  But I’ve been trying to have them as well (because I won’t ask him to do anything in a meal plan that I won’t do) and I cannot seem to get them to taste quite right… or maybe this is what they always taste like and I just can’t handle it.  I enjoy premade things like Soylent or similar products, but mixing protein powder just doesn’t do it for me.  I want it to do more for me though, so I’m going to keep trying to find ways to make it work.

[Walk #93]

Daily Log: 18 June 2024

Weight: 271.2 lb/123.01 kg

Exercise: 2.09 mile/3.36 km walk (5:05am–5:50am, 🌬️75ºF/24ºC)

Mood: Excellent

Food: 1615 Calories

  • blue raspberry protein shake 👎🏻
  • Italian wedding cake iced coffee
  • huckleberry oatmeal with blueberries
  • steamed broccoli, dark red kidney beans, iceberg lettuce, guacamole, jalapeños, hot sauce
  • sweet potato, steamed broccoli, Gardein Ground Beef, jalapeños, guacamole, pickled okra
  • Happy Belly SF Pink Lemonade

The Wandering Hermit: Cardio Thoughts

I woke up with a lot of gusto.  My lethargy yesterday had been the result of allergies after stirring up a lot of dust on Saturday, so I was glad that my body had calmed down about that and I would be able to get on with it today.  Fortunately, there isn’t really all that much dust stirring to do; we did that job already.  Most of the rest consists of things that have sat in closets or cabinets, and it will all be relatively dust-free.

My gusto created a wind at my back and while still on the slow side, my pace was very good for me.  I was watching a video over the weekend by John Glaude (ObesetoBeast) in which he was reacting to a video by Anna O’Brien (Glitterandlazers) on her quest to run a marathon.  In her video she was disappointed to find that while she had been training, she was technically walking or power walking, but only is short bursts even breaking into a jog.  She was not running at any point.  John made an excellent point, and one that I needed to hear at the moment.  It is not necessary to run.  It is just fine to walk.  I’m paraphrasing.  What I appreciate about this, and what he briefly explains, is that running is not a superior form of walking.  They are two different types of exercise.  I did actually know this, but I have found myself recently falling into a trap of thinking that if I were better at this, it would be a run.  And that thinking isn’t helpful.

I am interested in learning to run, but not as a replacement for my walks.  I’ve grown fond of my walks and in fact I look forward to them so much that I want to extend them.  I’ve already started to make plans for how life might look in a future where I can walk maybe to a park or in a park, and stop midway to do my journaling.  I love that idea.  Where I currently live, there aren’t places to stop.  It’s for the same reason that my walks tend to be limited to 2-3 miles; that’s the distance from the corner where I live to the next street and back.  I’m not quite to the point where I don’t need a bit of a rest after that distance, but as I am back home by that point I just get on with my day.  If there was a spot to sit just at Yost Rd, I might try going another mile, doubling my total for the day.  In town, that will be more of an option, and one I wouldn’t mind taking.

Prompted by my brother’s concern, I’ve been a little concerned about my heart rate at night.  I don’t know if I would have thought about it much if he hadn’t been talking about it.  I routinely drop to about 38 or 39 BPM, usually just as I’m starting to wake up.  Whether it is a function of my body waking up or I am waking up in response, I cannot say.  But heart rate is something I’ve been working on in general.  I don’t have the luxury of being able to see a doctor at the moment, so I have to treat myself as carefully as I can.  One thing I’ve been trying, and which seems to be working okay, is to do a bit of cardio just before going to bed.  I don’t think it needs to be as strenuous as my morning walks, but a few minutes of jogging in place or a few minutes on the exercise bike.  I just want to get my heart rate up to about 120 BPM for a little while.  I do pretty well with my recovery rate, so it returns to normal pretty well, but on the nights where I have done that—so far—I have not dipped below the 40s.  Of course, that could all be a coincidence and maybe I’m grasping at straws.  But I’ll keep experimenting.  In those final moments before bed, I’m almost always watching YouTube, and I can easily just get up and do some exercise while I watch my video.  

The other metric I’ve been really interested in increasing is VO2 Max, which steadily increased from 27 April to 11 June, but seems to have stalled out.  This morning it had decreased which was pretty frustrating, but I have a lot of allergy issues and I’m sure that is part of the problem.  I’ve become complacent with my allergies, rarely feeling the need to take anything at all because it has felt so much better without the 150 pounds I recently lost.  But it is possible I’m not allowing myself the full potential of my lungs by denying myself the relief of allergy medications.  I do hate being dependent on a medication, but sometimes things just are what they are.

[Walk #92]

Daily Log: 17 June 2024

Weight: 266.0 lb/120.66 kg

Exercise: 3.17 mile/5.10 km walk (5:17am–6:22am, ☀️73ºF/22.5ºC)

Mood: Excellent

Food: 1490 Calories

  • chocolate caramel peanut butter iced coffee
  • Huckleberry Oatmeal with Blueberries
  • Italian wedding cake protein shake
  • russet potatoes, steamed broccoli, corn, jalapeños, pickled okra, hot sauce
  • steamed cauliflower, Gardein Ground B’ef, corn, iceberg lettuce, guacamole
  • Ghost Energy, Warheads Sour Watermelon
  • Happy Belly SF Pink Lemonade