What a wonderful day to be alive!  I have just been feeling it since I woke up.  It helped to have a nice long conversation with my friend Robert yesterday; that is still resting firmly on my mind, and this morning’s walk was filled with thoughts I wouldn’t have had otherwise.

One of my preoccupations during the walk was how my left leg wasn’t in my way.  Because it has been so swollen for so many years, I had gotten used to brushing up against it when I walk, and even though my legs both brush together, it has been the left one that feels like it is encroaching on the space that belongs to the right leg.  This morning, that seemed to have not been true.  Again, it’s slightly emotional having any improvement at all.  One year ago, I was unwilling to leave the house because I was embarrassed about my leg issues.  Today, I feel like it’s barely a problem.  That’s really amazing.

I’ve now been doing daily meditations for a week, and I have some thoughts.  It’s a little sad that I need to schedule time in my day to just stop and be present.  That said, I’m really happy about it.  I worried at first that the time would turn into brainstorming for ideas or writing I wanted to do.  Almost all moments turn into that if I don’t have a distraction, but I’ve been able to put a pin in that and just listen to the world around me.  I don’t know that I have found the exact thing that works for me, but I’ll keep trying things.  Currently, doing a few minutes at the end of my walk has been working okay, but sometimes I do have trouble settling my mind down first.  My walks are mentally active—often chaotic—times.   

I had set a goal of losing 150 pounds by 1 June.  I have reached my goal as of this morning, but I’m not going to celebrate just yet.  I need to make sure it stays off and I’m not having some sort of weird weight fluctuation.  Still, if I haven’t achieved my goal, I’ve at least gotten close.  I’m starting to feel fairly proud of myself.  I really wasn’t sure I could do it.  Now the hardest part is ahead.  The closer I get to a weight where I settle, the harder it will be to lose.  I knew that when I started, and I am expecting that going forward.  But I think I can do it.  The past 10 months have proven that.

[Walk #72]