It’s a beautiful day.  Cloudy, cool… great for my morning walk, even if that was a little late.  I was so tired this morning; I decided to just sleep a little longer.  I thought I had gotten enough, but my watch says 6hr48min, and I have no reason to say it is wrong… that does not include the extra hour and a half though, so maybe I have a reason to at least be suspicious.  

I’ve gotten lazy with my calorie counting.  That was always meant to be temporary, but lately I keep forgetting to record everything as I eat it and then you’ve got me trying to keep my eyes open as I’m going to bed trying to recall how many kidney beans I had with lunch.  In general, I’ve been trying to work on getting to everything.  I wish I could let go of a lot of things to make room in my brain for just my daily habits checklist.  All of the stuff in life can start to weigh us down and I feel burdened by it all sometimes.  I mentioned recently that I actually love how chaotic I can be, and I still think that.  I love that when I want to do something, I spend hours watching videos and collecting materials and familiarizing myself with the ins and outs of it all, even if I don’t ultimately retain that hobby.  I still love that about me, but I need to work on coupling that with the self awareness required to purge and let things go that I am no longer interested in.  I usually see that as a failure of some kind, and that’s not something I’m interested in any longer.  It isn’t a failure to move forward.  Learning new things is the hobby, and I think that is great.  But if I’ve already learned everything I want to know about a topic, it is more than okay to let someone else have the materials I collected.

My walks are going very well, but I do wish I could get my heart rate up more.  I’m trying to remember to have patience with myself; a year ago I struggled to get through a shower without needed a rest, so it will just take some time to get to where I need to go.  I had been doing at least 20 minutes a day in exercise (walking unless it’s just too muddy), but I think after the past few days I’m going to change that to at least 1 mile of walking.  That currently takes me roughly 25 minutes, but if I can get that down to 20 minutes that might help me keep that heart rate up.  It’s worth trying at least, and then I’ll revisit my goals after that.  I’m still looking forward to Brad getting cleared to do exercise, although by that time it’ll be too hot to continue on outside and we’ll have to start meeting at the gym.  And that is just fine too… maybe preferable.

[Walk #40]