Tag: thoughts

Daily Log: 30 April 2024

   30 April 2024  Leave a Comment on Daily Log: 30 April 2024

Weight: 283.0 lbs

Exercise: 1.24 mile walk (6:14am–6:49am, 🌗59ºF/15ºC)

Mood: Good, but tired

It’s hardly the newest thought, but I felt absolutely in awe of the fact that we get to live on a planet that has become aware of itself.  I wonder how many others there, and how many there are that teem with life, but which remain ignorant of their place in the universe.

It was a nice morning for a walk, but a little moist and my shoes are full of holes.  I’ve been putting off wearing new ones because it’s Spring and many mornings are wet and muddy.  I’m looking forward to living somewhere with an easier path, even if that means giving up my solitude for a while.  Sometimes a bit of a sacrifice of comfort is exactly what is needed to push growth.  I want to feel less burdened by life in general, even if just in an interim.  I’m ready to back the moving truck up and just throw everything in.  I can deal with the aftermath on the other side.  I once had lofty dreams of a perfect move with beautifully packed boxes.  I’m a lot less interested in all of that now.  I cannot truly move on with my life until I have sold this place and moved, so I’m very ready for that to happen.  It is holding me back.

Food: 1440 calories

  • coffee, oat milk, JSS Coconut Syrup
  • Burger King Impossible Whopper
  • Burger King Have-sies (fries & onion rings)

Music:

Daily Log: 24 April 2024

   24 April 2024  Leave a Comment on Daily Log: 24 April 2024

Weight: 278.4 lbs

Exercise: 1.64 mile walk (6:18am–6:58am, ☁️54ºF/12ºC)

Mood: Great

I’ve been walking in the morning most of the month, but today I decided to start before sunrise and I LOVED it.  It’s such a wonderful time to get up and get going.  My feet are feeling a lot better as well, so it wasn’t as painful.  I don’t know why they get so dried out, but it’s never great when they do!

I’m increasingly aware of my desire to get exercise, and while my stamina is still not fully there, I can really see a future where I am able to do a lot more.  It’s such a strange thing to think about considering a year ago.  I was having so much trouble at that point that I would be winded just walking down to the car and I honestly couldn’t step over anything.  It is easy to see people who are struggling with their health and assume they have given up, or that they in some way should realize how unhealthy they are.  But the reality for me was that I didn’t know.  I never thought of myself as being unhealthy, not truly.  It was denial.  We don’t want negative things to be true of ourselves, so it is relatively easy to push those things away and pretend they aren’t part of our reality… to go on as if going on will make those things less so.  I’m not proud of my progress.  I am elated by it for sure, but what I am is deeply sad for the person who lost out on a lot of life for many years because he didn’t want to see what was going on.  But life still goes on regardless of our regrets.  The future actually looks like a place I exist, and not one where my memory fades quickly.

Food: 1630 calories

  • Ghost Energy Drink, Cherry Limeade
  • kale & oat wraps (kale, oats, Daiya cheese sauce, hot diced tomatoes, Italian seasoning, red pepper flakes, Taco Bell Diablo Hot Sauce, low carb tortillas, lettuce, tomato)
  • Happy Belly SF Pink Lemonade
  • steamed broccoli
  • “hot” chili beans (no, they are not)
  • low card street taco tortillas
  • steamed green beans
  • salad (shredded lettuce, tomatoes, jalapeños, Southwest mustard)

Music:Trying out putting my morning playlists on here.