Tag: discipline

The Wandering Hermit: It’s Not Me, It’s You: Rules for Walking

   5 July 2024  Leave a Comment on The Wandering Hermit: It’s Not Me, It’s You: Rules for Walking

It isn’t that I mind having company on my morning walks—I don’t.  In fact, I welcome someone joining me while I walk.  But there are some caveats.  

  1. Brian doesn’t talk in the morning.  I’m not cranky or in a bad mood, but the parts of my brain that do the talking aren’t even scheduled to be at work until I’ve been awake for an hour, and they are often running late.  There is a misconception that this means I’m grumpy.  I wake up most days ready to go and with a lot of motivation.  I also don’t want to talk… about anything.
  1. Brian doesn’t want to hear you talk in the morning.  Without the support of the speech staff, the listening staff isn’t really organized and ready yet first thing in the morning.  They hear you, but they cannot give you their full attention.  The morning agenda rarely includes people talking, so they just aren’t sure what to do when it happens.
  1. Brian is not admin.  I’m never admin, but it is especially true when I first wake up.  I cannot solve your problems for you yet.  That takes skills I won’t have until much later in the day, if at all.  I hear you.  You have an issue.  I appreciate that, but I cannot help.
  1. Brian will become cranky if you keep accusing him of being cranky.  We are all different.  My morning process involves quiet for an hour at minimum.  I love the sounds of morning, from birds in the trees to the sound of a coffee maker.  Because I don’t talk, I’m often accused of being cranky as I said.  I’m not; I’m just enjoying the stillness before my day gets going.  However, if asked enough times I will in fact deliver what you are ordering.  And I hate that I become so annoyed, but it just seems like some days I’m wrong for existing the way I am.

None of these caveats negate my interest in exercising with someone else.  I’d love to do that, but maybe what I really require is ground rules.

  1. Speak softly an stay off my back.  A simple greeting or brief discussion is fine.  Get straight to it, but not too loudly.  My tone will be what my tone is.  Again, I don’t mind even if my mouth isn’t working yet.
  1. Have a plan.  The best time to discuss an exercise/walking session is the day before.  Plan what you are going to do, be flexible enough to change things as needed, and be ready to do the thing.  If your mouth is already fully with it, you body should be as well.
  1. Sort it out.  As I mentioned, I’m not admin.  If you headphones are tangled or you are having an issue with your shoes, you might need to figure that out.  And that is okay.  I wouldn’t dream of asking for help with that stuff for myself.
  1. It’s okay to do what it is that you can/want to do.  I walk at least 2 miles in the morning.  I wake up at 5am and I leave the house by 5:30am.  The times vary & the route varies, but if you think it is too far, or not far enough, that’s cool.  Do your own walk if you need to.  I’m happy to walk beside you while it makes sense, but the morning walk/exercise is about your own fitness goals, so we might not sync up precisely.  Don’t worry about that.  And if you’d rather do a different walk, but just at the same time, that’s cool too.  Do that.  Don’t tie your routine to me.  
  1. Post-walk is when I write.  I need about 20 minutes sometime after my walk for logging & blogging.

I think there is a sort of popular way people like to walk and talk.  It’s a nice leisurely stroll through a park and it is very nice.  I’m actually very interested in doing that sort of thing.  It just isn’t the same as my morning walk.  That is about increasing my heart rate, waking up, and enjoying the dawn.  

[Walk #113]

The Wandering Hermit: Sizing Down

   1 July 2024  Leave a Comment on The Wandering Hermit: Sizing Down

Got in a second walk after I saw the July challenge on Apple Fitness: 2.77 mile walks at least 14 times.  That must be based on my walking average because it is a perfect increase in what I’ve been doing.  But I don’t like taking longer than an hour, so I’ll have to get these extras in in the evening.  It’s so warm.  But I’ve always been averse to even the mildest warmth, but I actually thought it wasn’t so bad.  I suppose that makes sense.  I’m likely having some changes to my body relative to my own heat tolerance.  I’ve always wanted to be someone who could stand to be outside in July, so maybe I’ll get there someday. 

One of the new shirts I got for walking arrived and fits perfectly.  It’s a 2XL, and if I’m being honest, that still feels too large.  It’s been a long time though, and I can start retiring my 4XL & 3XL shirts I think.  My favorite part was that it fit, but was not clingy or snug at all… that’s progress.  My weight loss might be slower than I’d like at the moment, but I am shrinking an that’s the part I’m excited about. 

[Walk #108]

The Wandering Hermit: Justin & the 10-Day Meal Plan Plan

   30 June 2024  Leave a Comment on The Wandering Hermit: Justin & the 10-Day Meal Plan Plan

I’m starting to feel a bit better.  I was reluctant to wake up this morning, but I still just did it anyway.  I’ve got some yard work to do this morning, but I think I might try to get some extra sleep this afternoon.  I have a lot to do this week and I want to make sure I’m fully over whatever has been keeping me lethargic lately.

Justin has decided to do a 10 day diet.  He wants to start on the first.  I think that’s great for him.  He struggles with the permanence of a new way of eating, but he knows he can handle a 10-day diet.  And when that’s over, I think he’ll give himself a few days to go back to normal and then he might resume the 10-day plan as a more permanent situation.  I had been trying to help him do some planning that included all of the things he likes, but that wasn’t working.  He found creative ways to go around the plan and sneak in hundreds of unaccounted calories.  He needs something far more strict.  He is also working uphill a little since one of his medications causes weight gain.  It used to be easy for him to stay thin.  Now he has to work at it, and I think adjusting to that is frustrating.  I totally understand that.  Since he’s doing something strict, I’ll probably be tightening up my own eating for the month.  And I love that.  I’ve gotten a little lazy about food; I’m still basically eating the same way, but I’ve found myself forgetting to record things.  Part of that is that I had started using Cronometer, but I’m back to writing everything down.  I am far more mindful about my diet when I’ve written it all down as I eat it.  Cronometer is a great tool and I still use it for planning out Justin’s meals for the week, but for myself it quickly became a crutch and an excuse.

[Walk #106]

The Wandering Hermit: Just Before the Sky Catches Fire

   28 June 2024  Leave a Comment on The Wandering Hermit: Just Before the Sky Catches Fire

I’m feeling a little bit under the weather, but I am just not interested in excuses.  Of course, if I end up being sick I’ll have to act accordingly.  There’s no point in pushing myself when it would be harmful to do so.  This morning was a nice walk though, even though I wasn’t feeling awesome.

I’ve been oscillating between feeling unrealistically optimistic and feeling the whole weight of the world pushing down own me.  Of course, my reality is probably best described somewhere in the middle, but try telling my brain that!  I’d prefer to not worry much about things; I’d love to dwell in the feeling of walking on a cloudy morning just before sunrise when everything is so dark, but then the sky starts to catch fire, burning for a few minutes until you realize how blue and illuminated everything is and you don’t remember it happening because you were too distracted by the colors of the sky.  Why can’t we live in those feelings?

[Walk #104]

The Wandering Hermit: Stupid Stuff That Doesn’t Matter & Extra Miles

   26 June 2024  Leave a Comment on The Wandering Hermit: Stupid Stuff That Doesn’t Matter & Extra Miles

This afternoon was much less disorienting than my morning was.  I feel a little like I really can do anything I want to do in life.  Getting in an extra mile takes very little time, but it was a bit on the hot side.  I think saving that walk for dusk is a much better plan.  It takes less than half an hour and I feel great.  Now, that means I’m taking showers all day, but I like doing that anyway so I guess that’s not really a problem.

I was thinking that I need to start making a schedule.  Having my whole life up in the air makes me want to take some control in any way I am able.  I think the easiest thing is to start making a full day’s schedule.  It has been working for mornings.  I schedule my days from 5am to 8am, but then I just let the rest of the day happen.  Sometimes I get a lot accomplished and sometimes I get hung up doing stupid stuff that doesn’t matter.  The stupid stuff that doesn’t matter is an important part of life, but not as often as I do it now.  Having a detailed schedule would be nice…. and I already enjoy overplanning, so scheduling works well with that.

[Walk #102]

The Wandering Hermit: Walk #100

   25 June 2024  Leave a Comment on The Wandering Hermit: Walk #100

This was my 100th walk!  It’s hard to believe I’ve done so many.  I decided to start doing a daily walk 1 April 2024, but it was rainy and so I officially started on 3 April, doing half a mile on a good day.  It wasn’t until 7 May that I finally started walking past the bridge that crosses over the creek and started walking up to the neighbor’s house and back.  On 11 May, I walked to the next road down, a mile away.  19 May, I crossed Fairgrounds, the cross street I live on, walking down a bit and back to the neighbor’s house.  Since 28 May, my habit has been always to walk to the next road from here, in any direction, and back.  That makes the walks 2-3.3 miles, depending on the direction I go.  This morning, I did 4.32 miles, walking East to Prairie Rd, North to Yost Rd, West to Fairgrounds Rd, & South to Burris Rd.  That is a little unusual because I was doing it to celebrate 100 walks, but I felt great afterward and was not short of breath or overly exhausted.  What I’m not trying to be cautious of is not continuing to increase the distance for no reason.  3 miles feels really good.  4 was a nice amount this morning, but I had started constantly checking my watch at about 3.5 to see when it would be over.

This is all probably painfully obvious to people who are already pretty active, but I started at not being able to walk out to the car without having to stop to catch my breath.  Being able to do any of this seems remarkable to me.  I’ve been thinking about my next steps.  Like I said, after 3 miles I was ready for the walk to be over, but it wasn’t because I was overly tired.  I was bored.  So, it might behoove me to add an evening walk as well.  That would definitely be easier on joining a gym.  I like the idea of walking 5:15am-6:15am & 5:15pm-6:15pm.  It is so hot this week, that I don’t think I’ll be able to test that out though.  Maybe I’ll try running in place with a fan blowing directly on me!  

I’m proud of myself.  I didn’t know if I could do it, but I was determined to try and feel like I finally figured out something I wish I had learned 20 years ago.  I could dwell in that regret, but that won’t actually alter the reality of my life.  Instead, I’ll take that knowledge and make a future from it.  

[Walk #100]

The Wandering Hermit: Hold onto the Bird, but Don’t Pick Up the Sky

   12 June 2024  Leave a Comment on The Wandering Hermit: Hold onto the Bird, but Don’t Pick Up the Sky

Discipline.  I keep repeating that to myself, holding onto it like a bird struggling to fly away from my grip.  I don’t know if I’ve always craved discipline, or if my newly rekindle relationship with myself is fueling some changes that make me want to structure my life a little more.  It’s like I want to add supports to prop everything up just in case it starts to slip again.  

I set an alarm for the first time in years.  I don’t actually need an alarm to wake me in the morning, but sometimes I sleep until almost 6:00am, but then I feel disappointed that I didn’t start walking at 5:15, so I just set an alarm.  I have been thinking about structuring my morning more as a schedule I have to follow rather than a loose set of activities I want to accomplish with no real set times to get those things done.

My schedule, roughly, before today

4:30am–8:00am: wake up (normally between 5:30 & 6:30)

morning:  outdoor walk

after walk:  shower, weigh-in, coffee, breakfast, writing

some time during the day:  meditation probably, food logging maybe, more writing, etc… lots and lots of etc and misc.

Honestly that has been working for me, especially as I got more and more into taking care of my body.  I wasn’t been so regimented about the whole process, but I am increasingly wanting a great deal more discipline and structure.  I’ll try to work on outlining something in the next day or two.

The dawn felt delicate today, like I needed to handle the sky gently so as not to damage it.  Yesterday felt robust and sturdy in retrospect.  Was it the color of the light breaking over the horizon or the clouds or if it was all an illusion based on my own state of mind?  It’s so difficult to know for sure where the feeling came from, but I didn’t dare pick up the sky at all.

[Walk #87]