Weight: 282.3 lb/128.05 kg
Exercise: 1.06 mile/1.71 km walk (6:38am–7:05am, 🌬️66ºF/19ºC)
Mood: Very Good
Food: 1735 calories
Weight: 280.8 lb/127.37 kg
Exercise: 25 minute aerobic exercise (Sweatin’ to the Oldies Vol.3) (8:38am–9:03am, ☁️66ºF/19ºC)
Mood: Good, but tired
Food: 2020 calories
Weight: 283.0 lbs
Exercise: 1.24 mile walk (6:14am–6:49am, 🌗59ºF/15ºC)
Mood: Good, but tired
It’s hardly the newest thought, but I felt absolutely in awe of the fact that we get to live on a planet that has become aware of itself. I wonder how many others there, and how many there are that teem with life, but which remain ignorant of their place in the universe.
It was a nice morning for a walk, but a little moist and my shoes are full of holes. I’ve been putting off wearing new ones because it’s Spring and many mornings are wet and muddy. I’m looking forward to living somewhere with an easier path, even if that means giving up my solitude for a while. Sometimes a bit of a sacrifice of comfort is exactly what is needed to push growth. I want to feel less burdened by life in general, even if just in an interim. I’m ready to back the moving truck up and just throw everything in. I can deal with the aftermath on the other side. I once had lofty dreams of a perfect move with beautifully packed boxes. I’m a lot less interested in all of that now. I cannot truly move on with my life until I have sold this place and moved, so I’m very ready for that to happen. It is holding me back.
Food: 1440 calories
Music:
Weight: 282.2 lbs
Exercise: .77 mile walk (2:10pm–2:31 pm, ☀️78ºF/25.5ºC)
Mood: Good, but tired
I’ve been so tired today. I slept most of the day and never did get to where I felt rested. Pollen is trending back up, so it might just be that. I hope so. Allergies I can deal with.
Food: 1800 calories
Music:
Weight: 282.2 lbs
Exercise: .97 mile walk (6:25am–6:50am, ☁️62ºF/17ºC); .03 mile walk (4:19pm–4:24pm, ⛅️75ºF/24ºC) (1.00 mile total)
Mood: Good, but tired
I’ve felt chaotic lately. That happens sometimes and it’s something I’ve learned to hate about myself, but maybe I’m approaching that all wrong. There is an expectation to stay focused and to ease into things, but I’ve never been like that. I go all in, to the point of excess sometimes, and I almost don’t know how to stop myself from doing so. If I take up a new hobby, I buy everything I might ever want to use. When I’m interested in trying some new ways of cooking a certain vegetable, I have to try all the ways I can think of, and all in one day. I never let things settle. And I know that it’s wrong because nobody else does that, but when I was walking this morning, I was thinking about how I kinda love that about me. It can be problematic; it often results in money being wasted on items I’ll never use because they never come up or because I lost interest in the hobby quickly. And I really do want to stop having so much stuff and this is not helpful. But I love the way I go all in on new things. Dad was like that. I just need to figure out how to embrace that part of myself, while keeping in check the amassing of stuff. I don’t know.
It was a beautiful morning for walking. We had storms last night, but still the road wasn’t too muddy and I was able to walk up and down and got a good sweat going. Because of the storms, I slept very little and so I’m pretty beat already. I’m sure I’ll get some sleep at some point today.
Food: 960 calories
Music:
Weight: 282.6 lbs
Exercise: 1.68 mile walk (6:22am–7:07am, 🌬️69ºF/20.5ºC)
Mood: Good
I had a great walk this morning, but once again I had some trouble sleeping last night, so I’m likely to just be lethargic this afternoon. I did reach a new record walk length–45 minutes. It still amazes me how that is even possible. My primary concern is the length of time spent walking. Ultimately, doubling that would be ideal for a normal day. I’m happy with the 1.68 miles, but it wasn’t about that today and I found myself slowing my pace quite a few times, lost in thought.
I don’t know if it is related, or how it is, but I’ve been struck with annoyance at how bogged down I feel by everything. That includes all of my stuff, and the stuff I’ve inherited, but it is much more than that. I don’t want aspirational pots and pans. I don’t want closets full of projects I would love to get to, but that ultimately aren’t even important to me. It felt very much related to my health journey this morning when I was walking the property with no need to look at a screen. There were no banner ads, no video interruptions. It all felt as life should be. This is maybe a topic for a different time or place, but it was on my mind this morning.
Also on my mind this morning: irises! Following the rain we’ve been getting, the ‘Dawn Eternal’ & ‘Raven Girl’ irises have book bloomed. I love them. That’s definitely something I want in my future home.
Food: 2710 calories
Music:
Weight: 283.4 lbs
Exercise: 1.23 mile walk (6:56am–7:29am, 🌬️66ºF/19ºC)
Mood: Excellent
I went for my walk this morning as soon as the rain passed, but it hadn’t rained too much and it was such a great time to be outside enjoying the world–it was so cool out, and I was very aware of how much easier I find getting in a walk first thing in the morning. While the concept of an evening walk seems nice in my mind, in reality it feels so much harder. A morning walk hardly even feels like I’ve given effort once I’ve started my day, so really I should be doing both. Just get those steps toward my goal in early and everything else is just a bonus.
Food: 1245 calories
Music:
Weight: 283.0 lbs
Exercise: 16 minutes jogging in place (2:13am–2:29am, 🌧️63ºF/17ºC)
Mood: Good
It was raining this morning, so for the first time in a while I skipped my walk and opted for jogging in place while I watched YouTube videos. It was more intense than my typical walk, so I really only got just over my 15 minute daily goal before I had to stop. It was a pretty good workout. I jog in place a lot, but usually I do it for 2–5 minutes at a time, typically if I need to wait for something to finish cooking or I am trying to trigger my watch to give me a stand hour, but it is surprisingly challenging, for me…. for now.
I’m trying to not stress about my weight going up a little since Monday. I haven’t been overeating and it should work out. Weighing in daily hasn’t been too stressful, but it does remind me that weight fluctuates a lot more than I realized.
I have been tired, but not sleeping consistently. I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night with too much energy, which then eats into my day when I inevitably need to take a nap to catch up. I don’t really know why, and I honestly wouldn’t even be bothered by it if it wasn’t for Justin insisting that I be awake when he is awake. Apparently I exist to amuse him. Who knew?
Food: 1465 calories
Music:
Weight: 278.4 lbs
Exercise: 1.64 mile walk (6:18am–6:58am, ☁️54ºF/12ºC)
Mood: Great
I’ve been walking in the morning most of the month, but today I decided to start before sunrise and I LOVED it. It’s such a wonderful time to get up and get going. My feet are feeling a lot better as well, so it wasn’t as painful. I don’t know why they get so dried out, but it’s never great when they do!
I’m increasingly aware of my desire to get exercise, and while my stamina is still not fully there, I can really see a future where I am able to do a lot more. It’s such a strange thing to think about considering a year ago. I was having so much trouble at that point that I would be winded just walking down to the car and I honestly couldn’t step over anything. It is easy to see people who are struggling with their health and assume they have given up, or that they in some way should realize how unhealthy they are. But the reality for me was that I didn’t know. I never thought of myself as being unhealthy, not truly. It was denial. We don’t want negative things to be true of ourselves, so it is relatively easy to push those things away and pretend they aren’t part of our reality… to go on as if going on will make those things less so. I’m not proud of my progress. I am elated by it for sure, but what I am is deeply sad for the person who lost out on a lot of life for many years because he didn’t want to see what was going on. But life still goes on regardless of our regrets. The future actually looks like a place I exist, and not one where my memory fades quickly.
Food: 1630 calories
Music:Trying out putting my morning playlists on here.
Weight: 278.0 lbs
Exercise: .81 mile walk (2:04pm–2:26pm, ☁️80ºF/27ºC)
Mood: Good
Food: 1040 calories
I’m officially sold on the low carb tortillas. While I refuse to be scared of carbs, and as my primary calories come from starches I’m clearly not, it is so nice to have tortillas that are a quarter of the calories of a regular flour tortilla. They are a bit expensive, but even Walmart has them in Great Value brand now, so that seems to be changing. I don’t know if I want to have them around all the time, but as an option they are nice.
The Spicy Queso Oats worked really well with kale. I made such a huge batch of it that I’ll be having some tomorrow as well. I’ve gone on such a journey with kale. Nine months ago, I hated it, but now it solves all of my problems.
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