I’m just going to have to get over it.

This morning’s walk was dark; the sunrises are getting noticeably later and it was pretty foggy.  At first I thought it was absurd to walk in such darkness and I did keep veering off toward the side of the road.  I could take the time to drive to a lit place, and I’ll have to if we are still here in the fall.  I don’t want to give up my early morning walks.

I got a message from someone that they are inspired to go for a walk.  Now, granted, I actually don’t know anything about this person’s fitness levels or needs.  I don’t know if this was an offhand comment or an actual bit of motivation being expressed, but it doesn’t really matter.  What mattered was that it reminded me of how uncomfortable I get when I feel like I’ve influenced someone to do something.  I once had a friend plan an entire vacation based on something I had written, and the whole thing made me very nervous.  There was nothing wrong with that vacation—in fact, I’m extremely flattered by the whole thing.  But something about being a person anyone looks to for information makes me uneasy.  And I do really need to get over that!  

I often put so much pressure on everything that no event, no matter how small, and no interaction, no matter how brief, is insignificant.  Every moment of the day is important.  Every conversation is profound.  It’s one of the ways I get around living in the present.  I’m so busy waiting for the bigness of the moment that I miss that the moment has even happened.

I ran into a skunk this morning.  He was crossing the driveway and we startled one another, but he just kept walking and I let him go on his way.  He was pretty adorable, but I was careful to not make any moves that might make him feel endangered.  It was a reminder of whose bit of land this really is.  

[Walk #117]